Tackling the foster care crisis

Ann is a former foster carer. In 21 years of fostering, she welcomed 18 children under her roof. Despite having two children of her own, she adopted one of the children she was looking after. In 2018, Ann reached a turning point. Due to a lack of support from the local authorities, Ann stopped fostering. She opened a business to support women who’ve been subjected to domestic abuse. 

Ann encourages me to take a seat by the wooden table in her dining room. She reaches one of the highest shelves in the room and takes what, at first sight, looks like a jam jar full of notes. 

She sits in front of me and grabs a small piece of paper. “When am I going home?” she reads. “What happened to mum?” says the next. 

Ann reveals the purpose of the jar: to make her placements feel safe. 

“You never know what is coming through the door, but all children have something in common: they want answers. I want to let them know this house is a safe place where doubts are cleared up.” 

Ann would find up to 10 questions inside the jar each morning. 

“As soon as I had the opportunity, I would take time to answer those questions," she says. "I used to do it in a very natural way as we were having a conversation about how the day went.”

Ann's first experience as a foster parent was daunting; she already had two children of her own and, at the beginning, she had to make adjustments to her house.

“I had two bedrooms where my kids were sleeping separately,” she says. “But when my first placement came in, they started to share the same room because each placement is required to have their own bedroom.” 

Ann's family gave up communal spaces and her children had to share their mother's attention with the placements. Nevertheless, both Ann and her two sons developed a strong attachment to each foster child.

“When they leave is the hardest thing,” she says. “I’ll never get used to that feeling of grief I had every time a placement was leaving. After all, I’ve been their mum.” 

Ann had mostly been a short-term carer, with children spending between one week to six months under her wing. It was only in 2010 when Ann adopted Kevin, one of her placements, that she became a permanent foster carer. 

“I had to teach my own children how to detach quickly from a placement," she says. "At the same time, they had to learn how to create a strong bond between siblings.” 

Most of Ann's placements stay in contact with her and her sons, which is one of the most rewarding things about fostering. 

“Most of the children I fostered are now finishing university and some of them have children on their own which makes me a grandmother. They send me cards with pictures, but they mostly stay in contact with my sons via social media. We are like a very big family.”

But in 2018, Ann stopped fostering.

“I didn’t feel safe,” she says. “I didn’t feel supported. It got to the stage where it was affecting my children.”

Ann blames the current fostering system; social workers and local fostering services lack understanding. 

“They don’t live with the placements, they probably see them three or four times,” she says. “I had children with special needs, and I had to go out there and pay for extra-care and support because social workers wouldn’t realise how hard it’s to cope by yourself.” 

With the current system, where foster carers are not allowed to set specific preferences for their placements, it’s crucial to be able to rely on the authorities.

“Fostering can be very rewarding, it’s about saving people’s lives,” she says. “But the amount of challenges we face because of the lack of support often discourages people to continue fostering.

"If social workers were more present and the fostering authorities would get more involved in the day-to-day life of the children, we’d no longer hear of a foster care crisis.”  

Listen to Ann's experience in this four-minute interview.